Longing Love
by Crow Skywalker
Summary: How does Daisuke take it when Ken turns out to be the Digimon Emperor? [Ken x Daisuke] [Hiatus]
1. Longing Love - Prologue

Longing Love – Prologue

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For My Fans - After a long time, I've decided that I'm going to try and finish Longing Love, however, I'm totally re-doing the fic. If you've already read my old "Longing Love" Then I suggest you read **all** of this, since almost nothing is the same. Longing Love was my first fic ever, along with my first Kensuke-ish fic ever, which I never finished ^^; Since it was my first, it had major spelling mistakes, grammar, you name it. The new version will be a lot better...and a lot more detailed. Hope you enjoy the brand new Longing Love! ^^

For Those Who Have No Idea - *Waves* I'm Crow, a major fan of Digimon. Anyway, have no idea what's going on? Oh well ;P All I can say is that this fic contains **yaoi**, which is male x male relationships. No like, no read. Get the drift? All flames will be laughed at...and will feed the fire of my writing. Flames actually inspire me, not bring me down. You should know that if you've ever been to any of my sites. Anyway, still up to it? Then go ahead and read :P

Disclaimer – I do not own Digimon, yada yada...the characters...they all belong to Saban, etc. I'm only borrowing them for my writing pleasure D

Special Thanks - *Sees question marks form above people's heads* Yes, I wanna thank some people... And this goes throughout the whole fic, btw ^^; *too lazy to do it on every chapter* Anyway, first off, I'd like to thank everyone on the Kensuke Mailing List [It's actually called daisukeken, but I always call it the kensuke list ^^;] Cause you guys keep me addicted to Kensuke, and its nice to know just how many people out there like Kensuke ^^ I can't list everyone on the ML..so I'll just say everybody 0.o;; Then there's all my supporters...who actually like the crap I write o.o; Annndddd...Manyari, even though I have no idea where you disappeared to, thanks for being one of my bestest buds and fellow Kensuke lover ;D Then there's *drum roll* Moonkittie! This fic wouldn't be here if it weren't for you o.o...you get the biggest thanks of all ^^ I was actually going to dedicate this fic to you...but I decided to thank everyone who's ever been there for me ;-; Anyway, for everyone else who I might have forgotten, thanks too! *does peace sign* ;D

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Four human bodies and four smaller ones hung from ropes, dangling high over a hideous monster, its fangs and claws ready to tear apart anything that happened to fall. It roared, saliva dripping from its three mouths. Each mouth was lined with long sharp fangs, that were clearly made for ripping and tearing apart flesh. It could probably swallow the children whole. And there I was again, in the same place, staring up at the horror in front of me. I had been through this before, just a few weeks ago. The memory was still burned into my mind. How could I forget something like that? What it was like to pick between my friends? Who was to live and die? But that wasn't the worse of it. I knew that at the same time, my dreams would be shattered once again, by the same person.

"What luck you all dropped by. You see, it's Deltamon's lunchtime, and I think eating your friends will make a well-balanced meal, don't you? " He laughed. It was the same line that started everything. I had to be dreaming, right? I **had** to. I found myself unable to move, just like the last time. His stare had me caught, and he held me there.

I choked as I felt the words form in my mouth. I didn't want to say them...was there any way to stop this? Any at all? I was answered by my own voice, as I broke and felt them slip through my mouth. "Oh, no you won't! I'll never let you get away with this!" Again, I felt my face change to a glare. It was like I was living in my own body, only I couldn't control it at all. I was forced once again to replay the scene in front of me.

"It appears you have no choice. If you want mercy, you must beg for it." I couldn't help but note the grin on his face, although I couldn't see his eyes. Once again, I was confused. Why would he have me beg? It made no sense. 

"Huh?" I heard Veemon beside me. He was just as confused as I was.

"You heard me, you pathetic loser! Now on your knees and beg!" Lashed the cold voice. 

I felt the hopelessness and despair as I fell to my knees, obeying his command. Somehow it didn't bother me that I was bowing to the enemy. "Please Master, spare my friends."

I heard Veemon's yell as he told me not to. Again, I had failed him. If only I could have been as strong as him. I didn't have the power to stand against that voice. It was his voice. Something about that voice that sounded so familiar. If only I had put my finger on it in the first place, I could have changed what was about to happen.

The scene changed around me, the sand dropping beneath my hands and knees. I was left in darkness, wondering what the hell was going on.

"Never!" Came a voice, **my** voice, out of nowhere. It echoed through the darkness, repeating over and over.

I snapped my head around, looking for something, **anything**. Through the darkness a dim picture appeared. It was hard to make out, but I could tell what it was. It was my memory. The Digimon Emperor stood in front of me, smiling evilly. I could tell that he was listening to me talk, but I couldn't hear anything. It was like one of those old movies where there's no sound. 

But the silence was soon broken as I saw him reach up to his face in slow motion.

"No..." I choked, not even hearing my own voice.

He reached up, took hold of his glasses, and before me stood the face that I've always worshiped, idolized. My hero, gone evil. Again, I felt the coldness rush over me as he confirmed who he was.

"I can be and I am. Ken Ichijouji!" He declared.

The words echoed around, over and over, until Ken Ichijouji's name was the only sound in the world of darkness. I felt a burning in my eyes and knew that it had to be tears. Tears for all my pain, and the suffering I was yet to face.

"NO!!!" I cried, before totally sinking to the ground, letting the tears flow freely.

//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\

I woke up with a start, wet and cold from the sweat. It **had** been a dream, a dream re-lived, but in any case, still a dream. I was breathing deeply, trying to calm down. It had seemed so real...just like always. The same horrible, frightening nightmare that plagued me. It broke my heart over and over. Ken..the Digimon Emperor? How was I supposed to fight against him now? There's no way I'm going to hurt Ken...no matter what. But when the time comes, what will I do? Will it always be like this...him the enemy? 

There's so many questions I have, and nobody to answer.

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Notes – Well, this is the Prologue...just thought I'd let you guys know what's going on before the fic actually starts. Bet you can guess who's talking ;P Anyway, as you've noticed, this fic takes place **before** Ken gets good and all...yeah, I know I'm a bit too late, but remember, I started this fic wayyy before...I'm just re-doing it ;P Anyway, Part One will be up shortly...very shortly. Reviews are always welcome...and so are flames ^^


	2. Longing Love - Chapter One

Longing Love – Chapter One

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Warning has already been done...but oh well, I'll say it again. We're starting to get into the boyxboy mushy crap...so if you don't approve of it, then nya :P I don't have to say it because you're probably already fleeing by now. If not, you either actually want to read this...or flame me o.o Anyway, woohoo! Chapter two! Told ya it wouldn't take long ;P That's actually because I had this chapter done before the prologue ^^; I wasn't going to chapter it...but I figured it would take more time for me to just write one helluva fic o.0

Disclaimer – Not this again...Ugh...No, I do not own Digimon. If I **did** own Digimon, it would consist of Daisuke and Ken making out in every episode. Shows I don't, ne?

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He was my dream, my hope, my life. Anything that I have ever wanted combined into one perfect being. So perfect that he had captured my heart. And my soul. Let me begin by telling you a bit more about me. My name is Daisuke Motimiya. Strange name, ne? That's because I live in Japan. I'm not sure where my parents came up with it, but I assume it fits. My life was pretty normal up until a few months ago, when my life took a drastic twist. I now happen to be one of the Digidestined. Who would believe it? Me, normal old Daisuke, leader of the Digidestined who were supposed to save both world? Who would have guessed? I guess it was good for me. I ended up making new friends. I've never really had any true friends before. People think I'm hot headed and stupid, which is not true. I don't act the way I do all the time, and when I do, I can't help it. All I ever wanted was to fit in, be one of the group, y'know? Even if they say they are my friends, I still know that they look down on me. They think that Takeru, or anyone in that matter, would make a better leader. But I'm blessed with this Digiegg of courage, which I don't have, and the Digiegg of friendship, which I do not deserve. Veemon is my only true friend, and only because he's my Digimon. Anyway, I think that it's time we returned to the story.

He? Yes, I'm in love with a he. But not just any he. He's the most perfect being ever to be found on earth. I'm in love with Ken, who happens to be our worse enemy, the Digimon Kaiser. Being enemies and all, I usually get to see him a lot. However, I don't usually get close enough to actually see his gorgeous face behind those dark shades. There was this one time...I would give anything to relive. I remember that we were to play soccer against his team. I, being one of his biggest fans, was so happy that I was going to see my hero in action. I had played my best and actually talked to him after the game. But my little world came to a crashing end when he revealed to me he was the Digimon Kaiser. I remember the denial I was in. I practically tackled him down the hill. But deep inside, I knew it to be true. I probably will never get that close to him again. Only in my dreams will I be able to run my hand through those strands of blue hair and feel the warmth of him. There's no way he could ever return me feelings...or was there? Could love really conquer evil?

"Hey Daisuke!"

A girl's voice woke me out of my dream-like state, though I wished it hadn't. I looked over at Hikari Yagami, who was waving a hand in front of my face.

"Anyone home?" She asked.

I couldn't help but smile. Hikari was my old crush. Sure, I still had feelings for her, but not like the ones I had for him. For now, she was my backup so nobody would ever guess what was going on in my sick mind. If they did know, they'd hate me even more, which I didn't want to happen. So I put on a act, pretending to be interested in Hikari. So far, the cover had worked. But it also made me look like a jerk. I'd rather be a jerk than totally ignored. Hikari had Takeru anyway. That's one reason why I gave up on her. I didn't have a chance. Their bond was too strong, having known each other since they were kids. Plus they had been part of the other Digidestined. Their brothers were really close too. If I hadn't known them, I'd say they were a couple. Maybe they were and I just didn't know. It really didn't bother me anyway. I guess Takeru didn't like the way I hung around Hikari, even if it was a charade. I know that he hated me so I got back at him by flirting even more and saying his name wrong just to annoy him. Maybe if I were better at this friendship thing...

"Sorry...I was uh...thinking."

"**You** thinking? That's a first!"

I put aside that little remark. "I was." I whispered, biting my lower lip.

"Well it looked like you were off in your own little world." She giggled.

Too bad she didn't know hoe right she was. I **had** been in my own little world. A world of pain, where the only light shone from Ken. I looked over at Hikari, who was now looking up front. Maybe it wasn't my own little world after all. Things seemed to be the same here in the real world. I followed her gaze, setting them on the chalkboard. I started to panic when I realized there were words written on it. 'Oh man...when did he start writing down notes!?' I asked myself as I scrambled to open my notebook. 

~*~

Hikari couldn't help but her the rustling of papers to her side. Looking at Daisuke, she watched as he struggled to open his books and get them settled. 'What's his problem? He's been acting weird for a while now..' She continued to watch him. He had finally gotten all his books into place, and started to write down something. As he looked up at the board, then back down at his books, Hikari caught on. 'Is he taking those notes..?' She leaned over and peered at his paper, immediately starting to giggle. 

Daisuke looked up, frowning. "What's so funny?"

She pointed at his paper. "Those are yesterday's notes, silly." She stated, still laughing.

Daisuke looked from her, to the board, and back to his paper. Turning red, he ripped the paper out of notebook and crumpled it up. "Hey! I knew that!"

As the bell rang, Daisuke jumped to his feet, eagerly collecting his books, and left without saying another word. Hikari stared after him, still sitting in her seat. 'Something's wrong..he's usually so talkitive..and he would **never** leave class without me. I wonder what his problem is?'

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Across from Kari, Takeru had also noticed the change in Daisuke in the last few weeks. 'Maybe it's the cafeteria food..' He looked over at Kari. She had a serious look on her face, like she was thinking of something. Takeru got up and walked over to her desk.

"Whatcha thinking about?"
    
    She looked up and smiled at him.

"Nothing, really."

He smiled back. "Well let's go! It's Friday, so we have to meet the others at the computer lab."

Hikari nodded and picking up her things, followed Takeru out of the classroom.

~*~

Daisuke and the others were already waiting for them when they arrived. Grinning when Hikari entered, Daisuke tried his best to act like himself. He soon plastered a fake frown on his face as Takeru entered after her.

"Hey TM!"

"If you're going to call him by his initials then its TK." Stated Miyako, giving him a look.

"Yeah..whatever. Let's go!"

Before anyone could say anything, Daisuke whipped out his D3 and held it out to the computer. He immediately got sucked in. Everybody stared after him, the same thing going through their minds.

"What's up with him?" Asked Iori.

Hikari shrugged. "I have no idea. He's been like that ever since he found out about Ken and the Digimon Emperor."

Being the shortest, Iori had to look up at her. "Think he's going through some sort of denial?"

Everyone ignored Miyako as she made her own little comments on the subject and drooled at the sound of Ken's name. It was obvious to everyone that Miyako had a thing for Ken, and she didn't even try to hide it. Of course she had been devastated to find out Ken's secret, just as everyone else had. They had all expected her to take it the hardest, and she had for a while, but soon wore out of it. It appeared that she didn't care if he was evil or not, he was still "hot" in her book. She had a crush on Ken, and everyone had expected her to be depressed for a while, but what was Daisuke's excuse?

Hikari shook her head silently, not knowing the answer. "I don't know. Whatever it is, I hope that he snaps out of it soon."

Takeru finally spoke up. "Maybe some time alone would do him good? I mean, when there's something on my mind. I like to be alone to think.."

Hikari knew where he was coming from. Sometimes the silence and quietness healed. Maybe it would be good for Daisuke also. She nodded, thinking it over. "I think that's a great idea Takeru."

"Are you sure its safe to let him go off in the Digiworld by himself like that?" Asked Iori.

"The time alone will do him good, Iori."

"I agree." Said Miyako as she got up out of the computer chair. "There's not much that can happen to him in the Digiworld anyway. He has Veemon. As long as he doesn't do anything noticeable, he'll be fine."

"Yeah. Let him come back when he's feeling better."

"So, what're we going to do until then?" Asked Iori.

Miyako put a finger to her mouth, thinking of something to do. A light bulb flashed overhead and she grinned. "I know! Lets go to my parent's store and load up on junk food!" She squealed, and before anyone could answer, she had them all by the collars and was dragging them out the door.

Back in the empty computer room, a small blue dot blinked on a grid map. Daisuke was on his own.

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That's it for chapter one o.0...like I said, reviews always help..^^; Flames help even more D Anyway, chapter two is next. Next chapter may be a bit long...because I'm thinking of making a real cliffhanger out of it D *Giggles evilly and runs off*


	3. Longing Love - Chapter Two

#### Longing Love 

##### Chapter Two

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Disclaimer – Never owned, never will.

Author's Notes – Yeah, yeah, it taking me a while to re-write this ^^; Oh well x.x; I've been busy (for more info, read bottom ^^;) Anyway, here's the new an improved Chapter Two! D

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Here I was, just waiting for the others to zip through to the Digiworld, and so far there was no sign of them. They **had** noticed me leave, right? There was no way they couldn't have. So what was taking them so long? 

Maybe Takeru's hat was stuck to his head again....

But as the minutes counted on, they still hadn't appeared. I felt the anger of being abandoned and glared down at the small television that was our portal to the Digital World. "Are they coming or not?!" I cried loudly, not caring that there was nobody around to answer. How could they leave me in a time like this? When I needed them so much? Couldn't they tell that being alone right now was **not** what I needed, especially in the Digital World?

"...Not." I sighed, finally turning away and kicking at the dirt beneath my feet. Great, I was alone in my time of need. I had been right earlier. They **weren't** real friends, if friends at all. **Real** friends would be there for me, right?

"Why did I even come here in the first place? It's not like it'll help any. It'll probably just make my problems worse." But deep down I knew the answer. Had I come in hope of seeing my beloved Ken? Because there was no way he was going to notice me now. Without the others to help, I wouldn't be able to do any damage myself, and he wouldn't even know that I was here in the Digiworld. But I could still try...even if it was only to see him. I knew the danger, but I didn't care. Reaching into my pockets, I searched for my D-Terminal, but I couldn't feel it anywhere.

"So much for Digivolving...I left all the important stuff at home." Speaking of which, I realized that Veemon was nowhere to be found. All the Digimon had stayed in the Digital World for the night, keeping watch over what was going on. I hadn't seen him since the day before. I cupped my hands over my mouth, and started calling him, only to get no response. Great, now my Digimon had abandoned me too. What more could go wrong?

Kicking the dirt once again, I put my hands in my pockets and started walking. I didn't know where I was going, nor did I care. Nothing mattered anymore. Even if I was jumped by a ringed Digimon and killed, I'm sure nobody would care...or even notice me gone. Evil Digimon were all around me, and at some points I could feel eyes watching my every move. I was easy prey, and I knew it. Maybe they could put an end to this miserable life. I sure hoped so. I didn't even bother to continue my search for Veemon, I just kept walking, my eyes to the ground. I was hoping that if I didn't look up, my troubles would go away, but it didn't help any.

"Daisuke?"

I could tell that it was Veemon, so I didn't bother to look up. I knew that he would follow me anyway, as faithful as he is. I guess he noticed that there was something on my mind, because after a few moments I felt him wrap his arms around one of my legs in a encouraging hug. He looked up at me, sadness in his eyes. "What's wrong Daisuke?"

He was my partner...he deserved an answer or explanation, right? I picked an answer. I wasn't about to tell him everything that was going through my mind, weather it be love, hate, death or depression. "Nothing." I stated, simply, hoping he'd leave it there. But I knew that he wouldn't. I should have known better.

"Daisuke...I'm your partner! You can tell me anything!" He insisted, his eyes hinting worry.

"I guess.." I broke, but stop. _I can't tell him..._

"So what is it?" He insisted.

__

Can't tell him... "Nothing!" I said a bit louder, and started to walk again. He let go as soon as my leg started to move, and fell back behind me, following as always. He seemed to have dropped the subject, knowing that I was hurting and didn't want to talk just yet.

We walked for what seemed like hours, which turned out to be only minutes.

"Where are the others?" He finally asked, warily.

Should I tell him that they abandoned me? Nah. "They didn't come." I said simply, knowing this would be another subject that he wouldn't drop. It was dangerous to be in the Digital World alone, and he knew that just as well as I did. 

I heard a gasp behind me, and I could picture his wide eyes. "But Daisuke! It's dangerous to be out here alone! We could get attacked, captured, or even killed!" He protested.

I shrugged, showing that I didn't care. "So?"

He must have seen the shrug because his next question was "You don't care..?"

"Not really."

I could picture his face once again. He was worried, more for me than him. "Daisuke...are you sick or something? What did the humans call it? ...Suicidal?"

I didn't answer. Was I truly suicidal? I wasn't sure. But death **did** look like the easy way out...and a good option.

"Daisuke!"

I decided to keep to myself, and ignored his protests. I know that you're worried about me...but you already know too much. Much more than anyone else.

He grabbed my pant leg, tugging for me to stop. "Please...let's go back!" He begged.

I finally looked up to find myself in a wide clearing, long green grass and white and yellow daisies grew long, like a huge green carpet rolled out just for me. I felt calmness come over my heart, bewildered by the site in front of me. How did grass and flowers like this not get crushed or destroyed by the evil in the Digiworld? I sighed, falling into the grass and lying on my back, staring up into the blue ocean that was called the sky. A few clouds drifted across it, giving the scenery a even more peaceful look. Peaceful...I could live with this.

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Ken Ichijouji sat, in full Kaizer getup, in the throne in front of the many screens that looked over the Digiworld. He twirled a small daisy around between two fingers, studying it.

"Such a small thing can be crushed with such little effort...it's so delicate to handle. All I have to do is pinch a petal and pull..and it would have one less. But its beauty keeps me from harming it." He paused, turning the daisy in his hand. "It reminds me so much of him..."

He didn't get the chance to continue, as a beeping interrupted him. A blue dot flashed on the screen, signaling that one of the Digidestined had entered his turf. Smiling, he sat forward and pushed a few buttons that were embedded on his thrown. "Well, well, well, let's see who we have here.."

Sitting back again, he watched as the main screen in front of him zoomed in several times and finally stopped at a single point.

"It's Daisuke..?" He murmured to himself, watching curiously. "Why would he be here alone?"

Ken knew that the others would never let him go off on his own. It was much too dangerous, even Ken knew that. It **had** to be some kind of trap.

That was it! It had to be! Narrowing his eyes, Ken searched the surrounding area for the others, but came up with none.

That's odd...

He watched as Daisuke starred up into the sky, not moving or blinking. He seemed to be off in his own little world. If Ken hadn't seen his chest moving from breathing, he would have surely swore that he was dead. He had to be lost in deep thoughts.

What could he be thinking about? Destroying me?

A pang came to his heart as he thought of that.

__

But then again..I **am** his enemy...

But all thoughts were cleared as Ken found himself staring at the screen, the same wild beating in his chest. The spiky brown hair...those deep dark eyes...he was so delicious. Something to be savored to the very last bite. It was then that a plan came to his mind, and Ken couldn't help but smile.

__

Here's my chance, He thought, his smile widening, _and he's alone with nobody to help him except maybe that blue Digimon of his._ Ken frowned, his mind working past that small hitch. _No matter..I can still overpower him_.

At the sound of padding feet, he spun around and glared down at his small excuse for a Digimon, Wormmon.

"Wormmon, I want you to fetch me a ride." He hissed, eyes narrowing. "I'm going after that Destined kid."

"Y..Yes, master." The green Digimon stumbled, slowly backing away.

"And do it **now**!"

Without another word, Wormmon scampered off, leaving Ken alone in the dark once again. He turned back to the screen, watching the peaceful Daisuke.

"Soon I will see you yet again, Daisuke-san. It's a shame I have to kill you. Such a pity. A waist of life. And all because you're on the enemy's side." He laughed evilly. But deep down inside, he didn't really want to do it. He didn't want to hurt Daisuke. He loved him with all his heart. But it was either Destiny or Daisuke. And he had to go with Destiny. He couldn't give up something like that for love. Love was a weakness. The one thing he was determined not to show. He looked up at the monitor again. Daisuke hadn't moved.

"This will be the easiest conquest ever." He laughed, the sound echoing through the room, and into the darkness.

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Feh...I know, the chapter isn't that long...but I've been busy with other things...and fics ^^; For those who haven't noticed, me and Elora are working on a fic together called 'Inner Demons', and that's been my first priority for a while now so I decided to work on Longing Love a bit :P Anyway, stay tuned for the next chapter..its gonna be a dousey :P


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